if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
