She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
