i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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