I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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