He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
