look no pants
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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