i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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