The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
