I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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