I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
