I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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