You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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