I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
