dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize