did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize