You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
