YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it wasn't lemon gatorade
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
