Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
