is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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