so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
