Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
