If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize