Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My vagina just clenched in fear
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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