the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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