We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dick very happy bro
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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