thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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