____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
