Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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