Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
