Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Of course I have a pirate flag
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
