she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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