i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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