WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
this is an emotional support booty call
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
