this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
