I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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