Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
