Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
