I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
