she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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