at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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