I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
