Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dicks are not precious.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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