I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
