all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
