I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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