My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
