Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
