Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
