Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
