I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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