pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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