Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
