remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
