She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize