That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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