who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
