you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
